In the Classroom



A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana," Wendy said. "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" the teacher instructed. She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." He replied. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN," the teacher corrected: "Use big people words." She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's wonderful," the teacher said: "What book did you read?" Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said....

"Winnie the SHIT."


An English teacher at the local university spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students' written work. She wasn't sure how much of an impact she was having until one overly busy day when she was sitting at her desk, rubbing her temples. A student asked: "What's the matter, Ms. Dalton?" "Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state. After a slight pause the student tried again: "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter...?"

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